第五部分: Open theWindow of YourMind 打开你心灵的窗户(第2页)
12.两天后的中午时分,我顺着临终安养院病房过道向前走着。比尔站在那里,靠着墙,凝视着地面。护士长已经告诉我,康尼在上午11点故去了。
13.比尔看见我后,让我拥抱了他许久。他满脸泪水,浑身颤抖。最后,他向后靠在墙上,深深地吸了一口气。
14.“我有话非说不可,”他说道,“我得说,对她说出来,感觉真是好极了。”他停下来擤鼻子。”你说的话我想了很多,今天早上我对她说我多么爱她……我多么珍惜和她结为夫妻。你真该看看她的笑容!”
15.我走进康尼的房间,亲自去和她告别。我看见,床头桌上放着一张比尔给她的太太的情人节贺卡——就是那种充满柔情蜜意的贺卡,上面写着:”给我出色的妻子……我爱你。”
helpyouholdthehappiness为你开启幸福之门1.iamfascinatedbyacademicstudiesofhumanhappiness,becausetheybringscientificrigortoissuesweallgrapplewith.estamericansarenoresatisfiedthantheywerethreedecadesago,whenthestandardoflivingwasmuchlower.
2.soifwinningthelotterywon’tdothetrick,whatwill?herearesevenkeylessonsfromhappinessresearch.itisindeedpossibletoboostourhappiness--butitlltakerethanafatwallet.
whatmattersiswhatwefocuson3.thosewithhigherinesaren’tnecessarilyhappier.butwhenaskedhowsatisfiedtheyarewiththeirlives,highearnersarerelikelytosaythey’rehappy.
4.why?thequestionmakesthempondertheirpositioninsocietyandtheyrealizethey’repretty露cky.theimplication:ifyouhaveaheftyportfolioorheftypaycheck,youcanprobablybolsteryourhappinessbyregularlycontemplayourgoodfortune.
5.meanwhile,ifyouarelesswelloff,avoidsituationswhereyoufeeldeprived--andseekoutthosewhereparisonsareinyourfavor.ratherthanbuyingthecheapesthouseinawealthyneighborhood,settleforatownwherepeoplehavesimilarsalaries.whenyouthinkaboutyourworth,forgetyourwell-heeledsisterandfocusonyourcash-strappedbrother.
dontgoitalone
6.studieshavefoundthatmarriedfolksarehappierthanthosewhoaresingle.
7.“marriageprovidestwosourcesofhappiness,”saysandrewoswald,aneconomicsprofessoratenglandswarwickuniversity.“oneissexandtheotherisfriendship.marriagehasoneofthelargestimpactsonhumanwell-being.”
8.similarly,spendingtimewithfriendscanboosthappiness.studiesindicatethatmuisoneoflife’sleastenjoyableactivities,lethanweliketoadmitandthateaisoneoflife’sgreatpleasures.
9.butallofthesethingscanbeenhancedbyaddingfriends.muwithotherswillmakethetriplessgrim,playingwiththekidswillberefuniftheresanotheradultalongandeawithothersisbetterthaneaalone.
weliketofeelsecure
10.midlifeisaperiodofrelativeunhappiness.thisdissatisfactionmaystemfromthelackofcontrolfeltbythoseintheir40s,leraisingchildrenandthedemandsofwork.
11.bycontrast,employeesinseniorpositions,retireesandthosewithgoodjobsecurityoftenreportbeinghappy.oneexplanation:theyhavegreatercontrolovertheirdailylives.
12.“there’saprofoundlinkbetweeninsecuritiesofallkindsandhumanwell-being,”prof.
oswaldnotes.“supervisorsarehappierthanthosewhoaresupervised.joblossisanenorusnegativeandjobsecurityisanenorusp露stomentalhealth.”
weenjoymakingprogress
13.estwepreferleisuretowork.butthatdoesn’tmeanworkisalwaysasourceofunhappiness.welikethefeelingofperformingajobpetentlyandbeingintheflowofwork.
14.“therearedefinitelybetterandworsejobs,”saysdavidschkade,amanagementprofessorattheuniversityofcaliforniaatsandiego.“ifyou’reintheflowreoften,thatsgoingtobeabetterjob.”
15.butprof.omplishmentwefeelafterward.“weknowprogressmakespeoplefeelgood,”hesays.“youshoulddesignalifewhereyouhavethatfeelingofprogress.”
16.workalsohasthebenefitofmakingleisureseemsweeter,prof.schkadeadds.thismaybethereasonseniorswhosetoutsolelytorelaxandhavefunareoftendisappointedbytheirretirement.
weadapttoimprovements
17.inpursuitofprogress,westriveforfastercars,fatterpaychecksandwinninglotterytickets.
18.yet,whenwegetwhatwehankerafter,wequicklybeedissatisfiedandsoonwe’re露saftersomethingelse.academicsrefertothisasthe“hedonictreadmill”or“hedonicadaptation.”
19.wemay,however,beabletoslowtheprocessofadaptation.ifwegooutandcelebrateourrecentprotion,wewillhangontothegoodfeelingsforalittlelonger.ifweboughtahouselastyear,wemayrecoversomeoftheinitialthrillbypausingtoadmireournewhome.
20.weshouldalsothinkabouthowwespendourney.itseemswegetrelashappinessfromexperiencesthangoods.
21.ifwebuyanewcar,itwilleventuallygofrombeingourprideandjoytobeingascruffysetofwheelswithanirritarattle.butifwespendourneyonmealswithfriendsorvacationswithfamily,wewillbeleftwithfondmeriesthatmaygrowevenfonderwithtime.
wealsoadapttosetbacks.